I used to think that what we like and want is a deeply personal thing. That it is something we think about and on which we make a conscious decision. But after having lived in India for about 2 months, I'm realizing that is not at all the case.
When one arrives in India, it is immediately apparent that behavioral norms, customs, processes, priorities, and aspirations are very different than in the western hemisphere. That's expected. But what's interesting is that they like it that way.
For example, let's take a conversation I just had last night. Where I come from, it is every kid's dream to move out on their own as soon as they become a young adult. They want their own place and general independence. In India, that would be viewed as disowning one's family and is thus a very negatively perceived practice. But young people here want to stay with their families, oftentimes even after they are married.
So what's going on here? How can one entire society want one thing and another want the opposite? If what we want is indeed a personal choice, this is not what we would expect. We would expect a random distribution within each society.
The only reasonable explanation is that what we want is really not our own decision but is largely shaped by our environment. Perhaps we do have some flexibility within that framework, but we like the framework as a whole because it is what we are used to.
Is this a good thing or a bad thing? I'm going to go out on a limb and say it's a bad thing. In fact, I'll generalize and say that anytime we choose something implicitly, without truly thinking about it, it's a bad thing. And that is exactly what we are doing when we choose to like something simply because our environment tells us it's the norm.
Let me be clear: I am not saying that one or the other view in my example above is good or bad. I'm saying it's bad to choose one simply because our environment tells us to.
There are some people who buck the trend of choosing to like what their environment dictates. These are generally viewed as pioneers, visionaries and revolutionaries. Sometimes they are viewed as heretics and terrorists. This viewpoint, too, is often determined by the environment.
After arriving here, I was forced to examine for myself why I like or want certain things. What I found was that I, too, had implicitly chosen things based on what my society expected. I also found that, even after realizing such, it is a very difficult thing to change what I like and want. Perhaps I haven't yet encountered sufficient reason to do so. Not sure.
So what is the point? I'm afraid I don't really have one. But I think it's important to realize the depth at which our society can shape us. At least for me, it is deeper than I thought.
But that's starting to change. With the advent of technology, internet, faster travels (i.e. plane) and globalization, we end up exposed to all kinds of environments (that ultimately shape a different opinion of what we want).
ReplyDeleteFor example, now there's people who take off their shoes upon entering the house here in Brazil. That is not a brazilian custom. But it is in other parts of the world and by being exposed to these environments, you can change your tastes and opinions.
And in the end, since part of our own personality is also shaped by our environment, (just a part), it may be the same with choices. And sometimes, having a determined choice that is based on environment may not be all-bad. Another example is someone brought up in a JW family.
That's also why knowledge is good, so you can make sound choices. The thing is, sometimes, the best choice (in our opinion) may lead to drastic or unpleasant changes, so in the end, we take the lesser choice because we're used to our lifestyle (or house, friends, religion, environment) and don't want to change that.
Well, it's up to each one of us.
I just had this conversation with someone from France/Italy (Don't remember where she was born), anyway, she said that she doesn't understand why American teenagers want to leave the home @ 18. She said it's not like this and most other places in the world.
ReplyDeleteThough she joked, she threw in a hint of truth when she said "How old was Jesus when he left the home? How old was he when he was baptized?"
Sure theirs a lot of other influences such as prophecy and things, but she did have a point. Culturally speaking it is/was the norm.
- Nick F...a.k.a Anon.
Truly speaking every environment or society have a norm " A kind of set Standard that determines/dictates what things are done and how". Yes the quest to live an independent life is a norm in the western world and some other westernised countries too. But every time we make a move to check out a new societal/environmental cultures and norms, we are left with loads of "why" "What" and "When" on our minds.
ReplyDeletePerhaps, the cosmopolitan effect is a fresh but growing trend in India. And I can say as someone who'd had the same thoughts as "Xerxes" that while our choices as foreigners in India had largely been influenced by whom we've met or known e.g. Parents and close friends; In India, Peoples choices young or old depends of what their families want and how their families'll react if they chose to go with their own mind and against their families wishes (In a term "wayward").
A good example comes to light when you look deep into how marriages are conducted here (India). Outside Jehovah's Organization, a Spinster or a Bachelor does not have the liberty of choosing their own marriage partner at will. The scouting is done either by the parents or some other close relatives. If the Boy/Girls comes home with a mate that the family can not verify or does not want, the lovebirds risk been disowned and castigated by their own very families and even in some extreme cases risks death if they refused to succumb to the wish of their families. All these are what is happening as a result of the Cast system.
That is just one of many others things differentiates India from where we came from and if we check at other countries and societies too they sure will have some other stuff that wow and awe any foreigner seeing it for the first time.
Back to what we want; I think having had some exposures, it largely depends on us now as individuals to make our own choices leaving behind what had influences us in the past try something new but yet descent.
J.O.F A K A Leoj